The London Lady

The Flamboyant Christian?

2011-04-21T11:04:00.001+01:00

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked." Psalm 1 : 1

We are approved by God if we reject the wisdom of this world and reject their values. Only then can we be truly happy. Our 'delight' becomes 'the law of the Lord' and it is His values and His ways that bring joy to the believers heart.

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water...whatever he does he prospers" Psalm 1 : 3

In other words, this believer, is happy because he enjoys the approval of God . He has all he needs to grow and flourish. His 'prosperity' is not the same as the world's idea of prosperity - let's just get that straight!

Materialism, flamboyancy...the craving for bigger, better and more expensive, are values that the Christian must reject.

When a believer is blessed with wealth it should be used soberly, with humility and wisdom. When the believer has little he is able to have the same attitude to life as he has when he has plenty. Paul says that he knows how to be content in EVERY situation.

As a young woman I had dreams of grandeur and embraced feminist teaching with determination. I did not want to married, would certainly never have children. I wanted to be successful, rich, drive a very flash car and own a very flash house, with its own music room, games room, indoor pool and a drive that went on for half a mile! I would fill this house with my literary friends and perhaps the odd famous person or two. It shames me to admit that this shallow lifestyle was once an ambition for me.

To make matters worse my cousin did exactly what I had longed to do - she became a very successful business woman in the gambling industry, and has the house (you should see it!), the horses, the tennis courts, the private lake...but you know what? It's okay - once it would have killed me to see it, but now it matters not a bit to me. I am pleased she is happy. She looks after her recently widowed mother, is a good mum herself, from what I can see, but she doesn't know Christ.

I, on the other hand, have married and have three children. I live in a lovely little house that is in desperate need of repair and expansion! Everything in this house is broken! Broken doors, broken lights, worn carpets, holes in sofas, pealing wallpaper, leaking roofs, damp and mould all over the place, sockets falling out of walls, curtains held up by a handful of hooks...nothing matches, nothing is glamourous, very little is even functional - I have not had an oven for 5 years (maybe 6?). I have no dining room, paper and books everywhere but not a pen to be found! We drive a car we affectionately refer to as 'the tank'... but its okay. Would I rather have what my cousin has without Christ or have what I have with Christ? I can answer that question in a heartbeat. Whatever my lot you have taught me to say, 'it is well, it is well with my soul'.

If I won the lottery tomorrow (not that I am a gambling woman) no one would notice! My appearance would not change and the money would be used to bless others. I would buy a small house in South Kensington for my son and a few other students to live in while they are studying at University and I would give the freehold to my son. I would of course bring my own house up to a functional standard so that I could bless people at my table and provide a place for my other two children to study. I would not move into a mansion - I would not even think about trouncing my cousin! I would not replace our car until it needed replacing. I would not change the places where I shop. I would want to bless my Mother-in-law and my parents by taking us all on a family holiday to Dominica, to see the place where my husband and children have some roots...the land of their heritage - they have never set foot in it. But apart from that my neighbours, nor anyone, would ever look at me and say, 'hey, have you won the lottery?' My delight is not in the things of this world, but in God. His ways make me truly happy and I am convinced there is no wisdom outside of Him.

To be wealthy is not a sin - everything belongs to the Lord anyway - but the fact is this....THIS WORLD IS NOT OUR HOME.

I have just returned from the New Word Alive Conference in Wales where Australian preacher David Cook said that we wouldn't dream of decorating, modernising, installing new showers, changing the kitchen or bathroom of our chalets/caravans because we know we are not there for long. He was right! The Lord gives us what we need - not necessarily what we want. For some of us life will be about learning to be content...and for some of us who have more than we need, maybe we only have more because the Lord is trusting us to handle wealth with great wisdom and be effective in the Kingdom of God with it. Our glory should never be part of the deal!

Remember the Duck!

2011-03-25T16:18:00.000Z

Do you realise that one of Satan’s chief aims is to destroy the church of Jesus Christ? One of his tactics to achieve this is to repeatedly accuse the church of their faults and imperfections. It is no surprise that one of Satan’s titles is actually ‘the Accuser’. Thinking about this reminded me of a story I heard many years ago...

A young lad was visiting his grandparents on their farm and was given a catapult (slingshot) to play with. Enthusiastically, he headed off to the forest where he practiced trying to knock down a row of tin cans he had set up. After many attempts he discovered he wasn't any good at it - none of his shots even came close. Discourage, he headed back to his grandparents house for dinner. As he was walking back, he saw his Grandmother's pet duck. Without thinking he pulled back his catapult, released a stone which went flying through the air and to his shock, hit the duck on the head and killed it instantly. Horrified by what he had done he quickly began to panic. Grabbing the dead duck he flung it on a compost heap and threw some grass over it. He would never breathe a word about this to anyone. Turning towards the house his heart skipped a beat - there was his sister watching! Lucy had seen everything, but she didn't say a word.

After lunch that day his grandmother asked Lucy to wash the dishes, but Lucy said, "Granny, Matthew said he would do it today...that's right isn't it, Matthew?" And then she whispered to him, "Remember, the duck?" So Matthew did the washing up.

Later Granddad asked if the children wanted to go fishing, and Granny said, "I'm sorry, but I need Lucy to help me make supper." Lucy simply smiled and said, "I can go fishing, Matthew loves to cook, he'll do it - won't you Matthew?' And she whispered again, "Remember, the duck?"

Days went by and Matthew found himself doing all of Lucy's jobs. The burden of the secret was too much for him and when he could stand it no longer he went to his Granny and with heartfelt sobs, confessed everything to her. He told her that he killed her lovely pet duck and hidden it in the compost heap.

Granny put her arms around him and wiped his tears with her thumbs. "Darling, I know all about it. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing happen. But because I love you, and you’ve told me the truth I forgive you.

Matthew looked at her - shocked as his Grandmother continued...'But, I was wondering how long you would let Lucy make a slave of you."

Think about this! Isn't this exactly what Satan does to us? He thinks he has something on us and is constantly whispering in our ears...'remember the duck?' Let us treasure in our hearts the following words and when Satan comes accusing we can respond with the precious Word of God...

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8 : 1 - 2

….I was wondering how long you would let Satan make a slave of you?

Nearly SCAMMED!

2011-03-13T22:10:00.006Z

There is no end to the craftiness of some people! I like to think of myself as fairly SCAM aware, but currently we are helping a deaf man sell his car through AUTOTRADER magazine and we nearly got scammed!

So, its Sunday morning and we are preparing to leave for church when a message comes through 'Hi can you tell me about your car - what sort of condition the bodywork is in?' Well, we reply with 'it's in perfect condition - come and see it!'

We then get another message, 'I am hoping to buy this car for my Rev. father as a surprise. I am an oceanographer and am at sea at the moment...'

My husband texts back - 'Hey that's great, I'm a pastor of a church too...'

They then text back with 'I'd like to pay by paypal please, can you send me your paypal address. I want to pay the full price.'

Just before leaving for church I googled the words 'autotrader scam oceanographer' and guess what....

SIGH SIGH SIGH

You know what they say, if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is! This is a scam that works in two ways.

a) You give them your paypal address

b) You then receive a fake paypal notification saying that a payment has been made for MORE than the asking price of the car.

c) You, then being a nice and honest person, refund the difference...only you never received any money in the first place - you just thought you did!

OR

a) after receiving the fake paypal notification of payment the buyer tells you that their driver needs to have £700 paid from a UK bank to his Western Union account - but the buyer (who has already after all 'paid' money into your paypal account -supposedly) will cover this amount.

b) They then send you a futher fake paypal notification to say that £700 has been paid into your paypal account.

c) you then trot off to pay £700 into their driver's western union account.

d) and then you start to panic when no driver turns up to collect your car

e) and then you get that sinking feeling when the oceanographer no longer responds to your emails!

HOW CAREFUL DO WE HAVE TO BE LIVING IN THIS WORLD?

It makes me wonder - when we go out telling people about Christ do they simply believe we are 'scamming them' - promising them eternal life and giving them nothing but lies. How this grieved my heart when I began to meditate on what people must think. And lets face it - with so many false prophets out there fleecing the sheep for money is it any wonder they think we only want to fill our churches with people to get money out of them.

How grieved must God feel?

I do thank God that 'God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfil?' Numbers 23 : 19

Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30 : 5

The Bible says 'Taste and see that the Lord is good' - but maybe we are too suspicious...what does He want from me? What will this cost me? What are you after?

How good our God is...He is not like the supermarket giants who offer you a free taster in the hopes that you will BUY the full product...God wants NOTHING from you...His gift is utterly free...you need fear nothing.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Isaiah 55 : 1

Wedding Exit Song

2010-08-06T09:12:00.000+01:00

I couldn't resist posting this youtube video here. This has been chosen as the exit song at the wedding of a couple who have lived together unmarried for 20 years.

This year Mark found Jesus...or should I say, Jesus found Mark!

Mark brought his partner to church and to say that she was skeptical and resistant would be an understatement - but no heart is too hard for the Lord and she too gave her life to Christ on the day of Mark's baptism.

She was baptised and then the couple approached the Pastor saying that they wanted to put their relationship right before God and be married AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

The wedding has been planned and organised in under 4 weeks! Tomorrow they will walk out of the church to the sounds of 'O Happy Day' - united in Christ and in Holy matrimony.

Praise the Lord!

Enemy Fire!

2010-08-05T15:12:00.000+01:00

I've been to the mountain top...and now I'm on my way down!

After an incredible weekend when I felt as though my heart would simply explode with joy, the troubles are now arriving...thick and fast.

First one thing, then another, and then yet another and then a crushing blow. What's going on? Why?

Then I remembered this verse:

Isaiah 59:19

So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.

I am being flooded, not to put none too fine a point on it. I am being flooded by my enemy with attack after attack and I stand here, still wearing my spiritual armour, but bruised and bleeding from the battle. I ache...actually physically ache - although this is no physical task. I am reminded that I have been warned that the Christian life is not a walk in the park, its a battle - so what am I surprised about?

I think I forgot. I felt so joyful, so secure and so happy - what could possibly get me now? Did I slip out of my armour for a while? I don't think I did, but I do think I perhaps adjusted my armour to a more comfy position. Perhaps I relaxed a little too much. Now, I am back in the fight..and relying on the Lord to lift me once more out of the pit.

Romans 8:18

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Blushing Bride?

2010-07-29T15:03:00.003+01:00

I thought I'd ask my question here as I am genuinely interested in answers from believing women.  Guys are welcome to express their opinion too - in fact, that might be quite interesting!

Here goes...  What does it mean in 2010 to dress modestly?  

As a Christian teenager this is what I believed:  I could wear a short skirt but it should be no shorter than my knee. It could be well fitting, pencil, straight, A-line, whatever.  I could wear short sleeves or vest tops, but should have my shoulders covered and NO cleavage showing whatsoever.  

I'm asking this because my daughter (aged 8) and I love weddings...its a real bonding time for us. I got married in the late 1980's when fashion was bad...she feels so sorry for me!  

Obviously the current fashion - certainly in the UK, is for strapless dresses revealing shoulders and often some cleavage. My daughter and I sometimes stand outside wedding gown shops and choose dresses for ourselves from those in the window and I realised that had I been choosing today I most likely would have wanted one of those strapless, plunging dresses...but would that have been wrong?

  What's right for today's Christian bride? Would love to hear your views! 

How do you do it?

2010-07-25T15:26:00.003+01:00

As God is doing more and more in the church where I work and worship, I find it is becoming more and more important to NEVER take credit for ANYTHING that He is doing.

I came across this quote today and thought I'd share it with you:

Humility is a paradox. The moment you think you've finally found it, you've lost it. There has yet to be written a book titled, "Humility and How I Achieved It." And yet, God expects (and rewards) an attitude of servant-like humility in His followers.
In my own personal journey I have found that I have become sensitive to bragging....in others! I feel uncomfortable when I hear someone telling me how great they are, and do try to change the subject. But lately I have been challenged to think about MYSELF and to examine myself very carefully.

Whilst I hope I don't stand about boasting about myself I am also reminded that I shouldn't even THINK of myself as better than I am.

Look at this verse taken from Romans 12 : 3 (New Living Translation)

"Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us."

The only way I can really stay focussed and humbled before God is to constantly remind myself that I am a sinner saved by grace. If God had not loved me first I never would have loved him.

John Newton (writer of the hymn 'Amazing Grace') was once a cruel slave trader who was miraculously saved by Christ...when he lay dying he said something that I hope I will always be able to say:

My memory is nearly gone;
but I remember two things;
That I am a great sinner, and
that Christ is a great Saviour.

If I can keep that as my focus I will stay humble....

HOW ABOUT YOU???? HOW DO YOU STAY HUMBLE?

Wordsworth & Christ

2010-07-13T09:31:00.008+01:00

William Wordsworth, Britain's Poet Laureate from 1843 until his death in 1850 is without doubt one of my favourite romantic poets so imagine my excitement when I was once asked to write a review of one his his poems...and then imagine the disappointment when I realised that the poem was 'Nutting.'

On the surface, ‘Nutting’, written in the first person by William Wordsworth in 1798, describes an adventurous day from his childhood. The assumption that readers will identify with ‘One of those heavenly days’ when reminiscing over their own youthful escapades, creates a nostalgic, familiar tone, uniting readers to Wordsworth before he unexpectedly confesses to an unexpected act of violence and passion. I almost despaired of this poem until I began to see how the manipulation of poetic form and language developed layers of meaning to ‘Nutting’, revealing significance beyond the described boyhood quest to collect hazelnuts.

In the preface of Wordsworth’s Lyrical Ballads, where ‘Nutting’ was first published, poetry is described as being the ‘spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings’ drawn from ‘emotion recollected in tranquillity.’ I like that! This would certainly account for the extended dash preceding the beginning of line 1, which lies akin to a long deep breath before Wordsworth revisits a life changing moment in his memory.

Endearing the reader to his boyhood self, Wordsworth fondly depicts him as a heroic young warrior who confidently ‘sallied’ from his cottage, bravely venturing into the wide world beyond his home. The altered syntax in line 4 creates a stronger alliteration than there would be otherwise, and draws attention to the buoyancy of the boy with his bag over his ‘shoulder slung’. These stressed words roll easily from the tongue and emphasise the cavalier manner of the boy before Wordsworth, with gentle irony, reveals that the self-assured young man is not as powerful as he thinks he is. He is ‘quaint.' The apparel the boy considers to be a ‘proud disguise’ actually consists only of ‘Beggar’s weeds’- nothing more than second-hand clothing, put on in subservient obedience to the ‘advice and exhortation’ of his landlady.

it made me think of ourselves - how often do we think we are going out in 'proud disguise'? We are so eloquent, so refined, so strong, so brave, so talented, so beautiful? How about we are so rich, so important, so valuable, so wise? Listen to the bible for a second, "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." (Revelation 3 : 17)...proud disguise.

Wordsworth’s romanticism led him to believe that children have the greatest connection and understanding of the universe, which eventually ‘fades into the light of common day' as they age (Wordsworth's Ode. Intimations of Immortality). Like most children who wish to grow up before their time, Wordsworth notes his own persistence as he ‘forc’d’ his way over ‘pathless rocks’, until finally entering an area of experience resulting in the loss of innocence. We now begin to see that there are two journeys to the nut tree taking place in this poem: one being a physical journey, resulting in gain, and the other a spiritual journey, resulting in loss. The spiritual journey is allegorically illustrated with imagery strongly alluding to the ‘fall of man’ after God forbade Adam and Eve to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So, Wordsworth knew his bible stories; unsurprising considering the cultural climate in which he lived, but there was more...

There is a distinct turning point in the second half of the poem, indicating a threshold moment. Here Wordsworth reveals the sights and sounds that lure the boy. He hears the ‘fairy water-breaks’ as they ‘murmur on’, with ‘murmur’ and ‘murmuring’ repeated in line 36 like the seductive whispers of a lover. Could this again allude to Eve who listened to the deceptions of Satan and also to her mistake of looking at the forbidden fruit for the boy also looks at the ‘sparkling foam’ and is helplessly captivated by its vivaciousness. His senses are heightened when he feels against his cheek the softness of the stone ‘fleec’d with moss’ (l.34), but without warning, he suddenly realises that he is ‘wasting’ himself on ‘stocks and stones.’ (l.40).

I pondered this expression for the longest time...stocks and stones?

I discovered that this is another biblical allusion taken from the book of Jeremiah where God expresses anger towards those turning to idolatry. Revealingly, the word ‘stocks’ in the new King James version of the Bible is translated as ‘tree'. With alarming fury there follows a scene of passionate violence as the boy suddenly destroys the Hazelnut tree that had brought him pleasure. Wordsworth emulates the confusion of this unexpected action by enjambing line 42 and breaking the iambic pentameter in line 43, so that the reader rushes headlong into an unfamiliar meter: ‘And dragged to earth both branch and bough, with crash/And merciless ravage, and the shady nook’. The alliteration of ‘branch and bough’ builds to a sudden unexpected crescendo when followed by the onomatopoeia of ‘crash’ and is jolting in its contrast to the earlier ‘murmuring’.

None of us can go through life untainted by sin - it is in us (for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God - Romans 3 : 23) and that moment of realisation has to be, by its a nature, one that immediately shows us how disconnected we are to God.

With the hazelnut bower ‘Deform’d and sullied’ (l.45) the boy leaves as the victorious conquering hero, ‘Exulting, rich beyond the wealth of kings’ (l. 49), but whereas the first half of the poem ended with hope, the second half ends with a sense of foreboding and some confusion:

‘I felt a sense of pain when I beheld/The silent trees, and saw the intruding sky.’(ll.50-51).

The connection with God has suffered, the trees are now ‘silent’, and the sky is ‘intruding.' Just as Adam and Eve became afraid and ashamed after they disobeyed, there is no longer a great union between Wordsworth's boy and God, and this brings him sorrow and regret. Wordsworth gives no account of the boy returning home with his bag full of plunder - his heart empty, symbolising his belief that there is no going back to the innocence of infancy once the fruits of adulthood have been tasted.

Distancing himself from his earlier misdemeanours, a strong caesura, including a line break, follows the end of line 51. Wordsworth now attempts to pass on his own advice to another innocent, a ‘dearest Maiden’ (l.52). He understands that innocence cannot be retained forever, but just as maturing is a natural passage of life – the awareness of sin and our separation from God is a journey we must all go on.

Wordsworth's advice is to touch ‘In gentleness of heart; with gentle hand’ (l.53), and tells of the ‘Spirit in the woods’ (l.54). Stephen Bygrave says that religious vocabulary applied to nature and its interaction with memory points to “the experience of power in nature or religion that is greater than oneself – and culminates in a ‘moral’ restoration.” In my mind there is no doubt that the 'Spirit' referred to must be God.

In a nutshell (oops - unintended pun!) 'Nutting' tells a story of a boy who goes out to collect hazelnuts. Whist out on this seemingly innocent quest he is drawn to pleasure and sin and indulges in it. His reaction afterwards is to want to destroy the biblically symbolic tree that has lured him since he now feels disconnected, not only from his childhood innocence, but also from his God. In giving testimony, advice to others the poet is able to speak from a point of restoration and wisdom.

How many of us have thought that we too were as innocent as a newborn baby (not that they are innocent!) until a certain event occurred in our lives? These events only serve to show us how separated from God we are by our sin - sin that is in all of us. But there is indeed hope...there is hope in Christ. The bible says 'if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sin.' (1 John 1 : 9) Wordsworth’s poem moves from innocence to experience and then to forgiveness. He has been restored.

Blank, G. Kim, (1995) Wordsworth and Feeling: The Poetry of an Adult Child, Studies in Romanticism, Boston MA, Farleigh Dickinson University Press.

Bygrave, S. (ed) (1996. 2nd ed 1998) Approaching Literature: Romantic Writings, London, Open University.

Jarvis, Simon, (Spring 1999), ‘Wordsworth and idolatry’, Studies in Romanticism, Vol.38 Issue 1, p.3-25.

The Holy Bible, New International Version, (1973), London, Hodder & Stoughton.

The Holy Bible, King James Version, (1986), Chicago, Moody Press.

The Holy Bible, New International Version, (1994), Nashville, Thomas Nelson Publishers.

Wells, S and Taylor, G (eds) (1998) The Complete Oxford Shakespeare, Suffolk, Oxford University Press.

William Wordsworth, The Poems of William Wordsworth (1849), as reproduced at http://books.google.com/books?id=znOaqq89un8C

Facebook Casualties!

2010-07-08T23:16:00.003+01:00

Today I logged into facebook and my heart dropped. A young Christian woman had posted a picture of herself in what can only be described as a tiny black nighty and the picture was complete with alluring looks and a smouldering smile. Very attractive – yes, but also very wrong!

My heart sank further when I noticed that 3 other believing women had given the picture the thumbs up and one had commented with ‘very sexy.’ I suddenly had the unmistakable urge to tear my clothes, cover myself in sackcloth and ashes and REPENT before God for the sins of this generation.

Before anyone labels me as a prude – let me just say I think it is a woman’s duty to take care of her appearance (not to be obsessed with it, but to present herself well and take care of herself). I don’t think there is anything wrong with being alluring either…for your husband – not for every Tom, Dick and Harry on facebook!

I wondered what my 18 year old son made of this picture? I wondered what my 14 year old son made of this picture! I then wondered what influence this picture would have had on my 8 year old daughter, had I been stupid enough to let her see it?

We have trained our young men to live Godly and upright lives. I have candidly talked to them about the power of lust and the danger of that second look. There’s no way they can avoid all the pictures and sexual innuendos that are bombarded at them from billboards, advertisements, the sides of buses, the covers of magazines and front pages of newspapers. There may be no way they can NOT notice the scantily clad girl walking towards them in the street, but they can certainly control whether or not they take that second look. You see, noticing can be accidental – advertising is by nature designed to attract your attention and it doesn’t take a girl long to work out how to dress if she wants male attention…so noticing is at times unavoidable, but the second look is always a choice.

So here I am training my young men to be godly – to be like Job and make a covenant with their eyes never to look lustfully at a woman but why aren’t the Christian girls doing their part? I expected these girls to behave with the dignity and modesty that the bible teaches and that they would know better…perhaps you laugh at my naivety?

Okay, so it’s not ALL Christian girls who do this. Thankfully some do want to honour the Lord with their bodies and save themselves for marriage but I have been saddened today by all the pouting, cleavage showing, leg flashing and stuff that is going on by CHRISTIAN girls.

I have two friends whose daughters have just been to their proms – dressed BEAUTIFULLY, like ladies, not like Harlots. Dressed with dignity and beauty that I believe is honouring to the Lord. I praise God for these girls and for the Godly example that their mother’s are to them.

Mothers – train up your daughters! Girls – think about what you’re doing! Your body may be beautiful but its not for public display! Don’t sell out to the patterns of this world – THINK TWICE before you post a picture…THINK TWICE before you encourage another woman for posting suggestive or revealing pictures….THINK TWICE about every comment you make – what does it say about the God you serve?

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12 : 2

Tears in a Bottle

2010-07-01T09:37:00.005+01:00

Tears are a funny thing. I remember when my middle son, Joseph was 4 years old and at nursery school. When I went to collect him he told me that he had fallen off the slide and hurt his knee. I cuddled him.
‘Oh you poor thing,' I said. 'Did you cry?’
He replied, ‘Yes I did cry, Mummy, and I put my tears in my pocket so that I could show them to you, but they falled out.’
Even at the age of four he realised that his tears are actually precious to me. I care very much about the tears of my children.

In my kitchen I have a jar; it’s blue and not particularly beautiful, but it contains things that are very precious to me; locks of hair from my children’s first hair-cuts; all of their milk teeth….I couldn’t bear to throw them away! It contains their hospital wrist bands from when they were born and even the plastic clamps from their umbilical cords!! My eldest son, Benjamin worries that I will use the bottle to create Frankenstein’s monster! But, the jar is precious to me and always reminds me of a beautiful verse in the Bible that the Lord gave to me at a particularly painful time in my life. It’s from Psalm 56 and verse 8 and it says: You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them (Contemporary English Version).

I suddenly realised that God cares about my tears! In fact, my tears are so precious to him that he stores them in a bottle! My tears mean something to God; my tears are not ignored. God cares THAT MUCH about me.

We seem to cry tears at crucial moments in our lives. Whether they be happy or sad moments. I wept on the day my first child was born, I wept when I kissed my grandmother goodbye as she lay dying on a hospital bed. I wept when as a newly fledged Pastor's wife I received a letter someone had written to me full of criticism. I wept while my mum was having an operation and I wept when a teenage girl from our youth club gave her life to Christ and was baptised…all those tears, all kept safely in the Lord’s bottle.

Maybe something wonderful has just happened to you? Or perhaps you are feeling sorrow right now? Perhaps you are scared, or ill? Maybe you are lonely or frustrated? Do you have a sense of injustice? Do you feel angry or hurt?

Have you ever thought that being a Christian isn’t worth it because God doesn’t appear to care about you? God wants you to know He cares.

Maybe you are crying now? If you are…guess what God is doing.

I am the one

2010-06-30T11:22:00.003+01:00

I am the One

Repent! Repent! The preacher cried,

inside my heart had nearly died.

Remorse now held me by the throat

and stripped me of my prideful coat.

If tears could wash away my sin

and clean the poverty within,

then floodgates that I guarded nightly

would now fling wide and - quite rightly

drown me- lost, a disappearing vapour

evidenced only by traces of paper.

A life lived in utter rebellion of One

Who truly is God's only Son.

Should He be merciful, knowing full my heart?

Am I deserving of a brand new start?

Can even I now be forgiven?

Lived my life so selfishly driven.

Would His compassion wash over me?

Would His merciful grace set me free?

Do I dare hope for one last chance

to be the reason that the angels dance?

Today I am the one.

The one sinner who repents.

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Luke 15 : 10

Please do not use this poem without permission.

We're Going Home!

2010-06-28T20:31:00.001+01:00

On my way to church yesterday evening I was struck by how happy I felt. It had been a wonderful weekend beginning with a beautiful wedding. The bride gave her life to Christ last year and was baptised at the beginning of this year - but life was complicated. She had a boyfriend and they had three children that there were raising...

The groom really wasn't too interested in her new found faith but he agreed to come to church just to please her. Over time he too began to feel his heart soften to the gospel of Jesus Christ and earlier this month he was baptised!

His testimony moved me to tears. He spoke of how he had seen a change in his partner and how she had very very gently kept dropping little words pointing to Christ. He explained how after he came to Christ he would enjoy the whole family gathering to pray together and how his partner normally led this. Gradually he began to take the lead, so much so that he would pray and pray and the children would fall asleep in his prayer!

The work of the Holy Spirit in their lives led them to request that they be married 'as soon as possible' and in a relatively short space of time they managed to arrange a most wonderful and Christ honouring wedding. Even in his wedding speech the groom testified to the fact that they had found God and I am sure that this was not easy to say as clearly many of those at the wedding were unbelievers.

During the wedding ceremony the Pastor called the whole family together. As the bride and groom knelt before God to receive a prayer of blessing their daughters cuddled up to their parents and the chief bridesmaid wheeled their youngest child (sleeping in his buggy) in to join them. It was an incredibly moving moment. The sight of that little family bowed before a great and Holy God who had literally turned their lives around was amazing.

The following morning we arrived at church to find a young man there (the nephew of a couple in our church). He had watched a DVD of their baptisms and wanted to come to church saying, 'I want to be saved - today!' It was amazing. God is so much at work.

In the afternoon the England football team went out of the world cup, having been convincingly beaten by Germany. I watched the match and cheered for them when they got a goal... and I held my head as a clear England goal was disallowed, but I smiled when the England fans sensing the pending defeat began singing 'we're going home' in the second half. They were certainly going to be Out of Africa.

As we drove to the evening service it was fascinating to see the England fans wearing their England shirts coming out of the pubs and walking home dejected. Whole families with their heads down, faces dropped and shoulders hunched. It was almost as if they were begging us not to look at them.

How good that our God does not let us down and never disappoints us. Those who put their hope in the England Football team found joy for a short while but soon it was all over...

Football is the God of many in the UK and their God was not good enough. The strange thing is that in four years time, despite the disappointment of 2010's performance, they will once again put their faith in this God...in fact while the flags were going down from the front of houses, and the car flags were being discarded in the roads, some were already trying to revive their God by planning strategies for the next World Cup.

:-(

“I am the Lord your God...You shall have no other gods before me." (The first commandment Exodus 20 : 1)

When the Christian sings 'We're going home' it is not a song of defeat but of victory.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4 : 7 - 8

A scrappy fighter

2010-06-25T20:43:00.002+01:00

Today a great Christian guy hit the deck and heard the ref giving the count while we were all gripping the ropes and yelling for him to 'Get up!'

Sometimes its pride that keeps us lying on that deck. We've been put down in spectacular style too many times, so whats the point of getting up for another beating?

I get that. I understand the temptation to just throw in the towel and say okay I'm not a boxer after all - the fight is too great for me and then I think about a friend who is a real boxer. I'm not speaking figuratively - he actually is a boxer. I've never seen him fight, but he wins A LOT. I asked my husband once what kind of a boxer our friend was...did he 'float like a butterfly and sting like a bee?' My husband thought about this and then said, 'he's a brawler...he's a scrapper....He goes in all guns blazing and its not pretty - but it gets the job done.' Well, you can't argue with that!

I then began thinking about my own walk with God and how I fight my enemy. At times I am so tuned into Satan's devices that I spot the left hook coming a mile off and am able to block him and do my hair at the same time! Easy!

At other times I'm far too flash...going in with my fancy footwork and finding myself flat on my face in no time...but I get up. There may be an imprint of my face on the deck, but I get up. I get up and fight but 'it ain't pretty'. There are tears and agonies to be dealt with, but I refuse to throw in the towel. I'm fighting. I may be a scrappy little Christian with very little finesse about me but I get the job done. I know my enemy and I know what I must do...if it takes my last breath. Maybe I will be flat on my face again in the next round, but by God's grace I'm getting up. While there is breath in my body I will tenaciously keep getting up!

I am praying that my beloved brother in Christ will find a way to get off the deck and keep fighting - dignity is not never having to fall...dignity is always getting up!

²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

²⁵Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ²⁶Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. ²⁷No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

1 Corinthians 9 : 24 - 27

Oppressed and Suppressed?

2010-06-20T15:58:00.000+01:00

It occurred to me today that we hardly ever have to lay out any rules for our 18 year old son unlike when he was an unruly toddler or an out-of-control junior. In fact his own Aunt once took me aside and told me in no uncertain terms that I should not expect her to visit him when he grows up and lands in prison! Ouch!

Today he is about to head off to Medical School and although I feel as though I am literally donating my heart to medical science (waaaahhhhh!!!), I am proud of him and feel confident that he is ready (even if I am not) to begin to live life independently. There are no 'don't do this' or 'don't do that' talks to be had - we've done them all. The bible says that a wise son brings joy to his father (Proverbs 10 : 1) - I can see that this is true.

It's not as if there are no rules - we are not THAT laid back, its just that he knows the rules and has over the years become not only obedient, but submissive. Even when we are not directly asking him to do something he is doing what he knows will please us. When you have a child who understands what it means to submit to the authority of his or her parents it can only ever bring great joy - as well as great relief! The amazing thing is that when the child reaches this place its almost as if the rules disappear. It makes for such harmony in the house. He is happier and we are happier.

Okay, so did I create this blog just to blurt out voovoosella style how wonderful my son is? No I did not - I'm sorry if it appears that way!

Lately I have become aware of the struggle some women have when it comes to submission. It's such a taboo word. It's almost as if submission and subjugation are the same word when they are NOT!

The Oxford English Dictionary defines subjugation as: • verb bring under domination or control, especially by conquest.

We have this crazy idea that submission is just that - being dominated by someone who wishes to have power over us and that to submit somehow indicates that we have been 'beaten into submission' that someone has been able to conquer us by force.

SIGH!

No wonder women don't want to submit or feel uneasy about even the mention of the word. Believe me I don't like to lose at anything - even noughts and crosses, so I'm not about to become a doormat for anyone, here I must return once more to the analogy of my son...

We have not beaten him into submission and he has not been conquered by us. Neither is he suffering in his submission - in fact this guy has a pretty nice life. Whatever he wants, if its within our power, we give it to him - no questions asked, because we trust him and because we love him. He has a huge amount of freedom, although out of respect he tells us where he is going and what he is doing but we never feel the need to check on him or ever doubt his word. He's not perfect - trust me - anyone with the parents he has cannot possibly be perfect - but he is lovely. Submission has brought him great rewards and has earned him the deep love of his parents. If anyone has conquered anyone it is he who has conquered us!

So where did we get this idea that submission is bad for women? Well, there are all sorts of culprits but if you've ever read a historical romance novel you will have a clue. In fact so much of literature paints a very bleak picture of the state of women in a patriarchal society. Ironically two of my favourite works of literature (amongst many) are the short story 'The Yellow Wallpaper' by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and Alice Walker's novel The Color Purple. Two works that are eons apart in terms of time, culture and setting. Both develop a powerful theme that portrays the marginalisation of women and reveal the disturbing plight of women who are oppressed and suppressed by the men in their lives. Gilman and Walker show how, dominated by violence or suffocated with kindness, women are controlled.

Books like these provide historical snapshots in time, presenting female characters who are the epitome of women who are marginalised because of their gender. Both writers choose narrative forms that allow their women to speak in the first person, realising that there is no one else qualified to speak for them. it is almost as if, knowing how subjugated their characters are they choose to give them a voice which cannot be silenced over the years and they allow no one to interrupt. Ann Lane in The Mixed Legacy of Charlotte Perkins Gilman says 'if both the author and the subject are women, the affinity is inescapable.'

So, have we absorbed the outrage of these women from the past, their hurts, their agonies, their anguishes, and have we decided that enough is enough and we will not be subjugated and we will not be broken and we will not be sidelined? Well maybe we have! And, maybe that's not a bad thing because SUBJUGATION IS NOT THE SAME AS SUBMISSION!

The Oxford English Dictionary defines being submissive as being: meekly obedient or passive. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo this is wrong! (Apologies to the OED and all the the learned people who compile it!)

You see it takes great strength of character for any woman to be submissive....we are not horses that need to be broken-in, feisty women who have to have the spirit knocked out of them, no! Let's look at Jesus Christ - always a wonderful way to get our focus straight. Jesus Himself is the perfect example of submission:

And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
⁹Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2 : 8 - 11

Just look at the trinity - God the father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit - not one higher than the other, but all equal. Even in the trinity we see an example of submission. God sends the Son....he obeys....the Son fulfils God's purpose and plan and then he sends the Holy Spirit...

Harmony and order even in the Godhead.

As a literature guzzling young woman I devoured the hurts of women like Celie and the unnamed woman trapped behind the yellow wallpaper. I revelled in the female characters who found ways to be free or at least to put up a fight. I wanted to be Jo March from Little Women and Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice and was delighted by men who saw the value in women being women - real women - and not items of property. (I could get seriously side-tracked here!)

I decided that I would never marry. Never sell out. I would be all that God designed me to be and revel in it. But how I wished boys were not so appealing!

Without going into my life story let me just say that learning the difference between submission and subjugation has been a rocky road for me but one that has brought many blessings.

I feel that I have been especially blessed in having a wonderful example of Godly submission in my life - my mother. I have to tell you though that there were times when her gentle respect and deferrence to my father would exasperate me more than any wavering, namby pamby, silly swooning character in my books. Her quiet bottom line, 'Dad's the head of the house' would drive me screaming to my pillow but in case that was somehow in line with feminine weakness I would give the pillow a good body blow punch and an upper-cut too!

A family friend was my role model - not my mother. She would take no nonsense from any man least of all her husband. She called the shots! I was encouraged by her comments that her husband was a 'waste of space' and admired her spirited critisism of him. Today they are divorced and my mother is still married and more in love with her husband (and he with her) than the day they married...so you tell me if submission is a good idea? Did it hurt her or did it nourish and feed a marriage so that it flourished beautifully...?

There's a lot that can be said about submission - but the bottom line is this: God asks women to submit to their husbands NOT because they are lesser beings, but because there has to be a Godly order in a marriage and its this order that keeps the marriage alive!

I may come back to this.